Tuesday, March 22, 2011

God and the Housefly

GOD and the Housefly
God, after creating the universe and finding it good then decided to create man as a sidekick. Since God could see into future time lines with all possible twists and turns God realized the creation of mankind was an iffy proposition. Because of this concern God picked a nice mostly stable planet on the outskirts of a small but mostly stable galaxy to put his/her grand idea into motion. First God needed to create a bunch of creatures so mankind would have something to have dominion over. So over the next few days, universal time, God created all manner of creatures, creatures for water, air and land and for a couple days, universal time. God allowed natural selection to sort the winners and losers out before moving on to creating man. At one point God had hoped one of the lines of 'apes' would become the mankind that he had in mind but the creatures never got beyond picking bugs out of each other’s fur and poking sticks into ant hills for a light snack. So God left their fate to zoo's where in a future time line mothers would hurry the children past the monkey cage to the gazelle enclosure hoping gazelle's did not have the habit of mocking humans.
   The day finally came, universal time, for God to create man from scratch and place the man, now know as Adam, into the garden of Eden so Adam could get a start on the dominion job.
   Adam set about, when he was not chatting up God, cataloging the creatures about him and jotting down a name or two. One day while Adam was chewing a pear, just down the path from the forbidden fruit tree, he began musing about his charges and realized there were odd differences between creatures such as the lions lazing about a few feet from the pear tree Adam was sitting under having a light snack. Then there was the curious problem of the little lions that grew up to be big lions with the same differences; differences that always lead to other lions and so it went.
   God, while chatting up Adam one day, G. T. * before everything fell apart, F.A.**, decided he would create a companion for Adam so that Adam would not be confused about the birds and bees anymore. This new companion was called Eve. Eve began showing Adam the ropes and running the show as only a woman can without giving away the fact that Adam was no longer in charge.
   God apparently had a few helpers with at least one of them wanting a bit more respect. This helper decided to test Gods dominion over Adam and Eve who had dominion over the creatures around them.
   One day while Eve was admiring the beauty of the forbidden tree the helper appeared as a snake and chatted up Eve. By the end of this conversation Eve was admiring the great flavor of the fruit from the forbidden tree, a fruit she now called an apple and then introduced this delight to Adam. Like all men Adam fell head over heels to please Eve.
   Adam and Eve did not respect Gods number one rule to not eat from the forbidden tree so God evicted them from the garden. Outside the garden Adam looked at Eve and was again confused, Eve assessed Adam in the same way but was not confused. Eve decided to find a Gap store and pick up some 100% cotton clothing to fix the nakedness problem. Not finding such an outlet Adam did the man-thing and killed an unsuspecting lion with a club to make some stylish loin clothes. This is the point where dominion started becoming domination.
  Adam begets a few children. One of these children Cain, a farmer, decided that his brother a shepherd needed dispatching. This was the beginning of war, all be it a little lopsided in this first war. Since the winners suddenly get to write the history books of war, war became a dominant way to keep the other guy from writing the history books.
Now back to the humans who are struggling in a too cold or too hot of a world. A now hostile world where a lion just as soon eat you for lunch and the bees who will now just as soon die than let a human have a bit of honey to snack on, a world where a pleasant rain with a nice breeze can now become an f4 tornado. I think you get the point; the world was not quite as nice as the Garden of Eden.
   At story time Adam and Eve passed down to their children their version of what happen in the Garden, the forbidden tree, the idyllic way of life and the friendly lions. The bit about the snake was hard to get out of mom and dad. However like all children around the world they pestered their parents to hear the end of the story thus the story passed into legend along with the snake. The snake as we know now still has a habit of suddenly appearing from the grass, tree or water just to give a human a start and remind that particular person why they are in this predicament in the first place.
Back to the story, Adam's descendants did the cave thing for a while. But caves had drawbacks such as being drafty, gloomy, despite the cave paintings, and smoky and then there was the clutter such as rock tools, bones, arrow points and the occasional club modeled after Cain's original club. Legend now remembers the club as a convincing matrimonial tool.
Cave life just did not cut it.  So these early humans began creating an amazing amount of different housing designs. Such creature comforts also increased the population. The increasing population forced humans to spread around the world and along the way humans continued to improve the comfort level of their homes and so on. Of course these improvements came at the expense of the resources around them, sources that were soon depleted thus causing another migration to new locations to plunder and so on.
Very early on God pondered a certain irritation and this irritation was one of God's former employs that tempted Adam and Eve thus leading to Adam and Eve's eviction. The eviction from the garden lead to the first known letter dates, G.T.* and F.A.**, dates now long forgotten. Much later on there were a couple more important dates: B.C. and A.D. dates we all know about.
Back to Gods irritation, an irritation also known as Satan, the devil and quite a few other aliases.
God also saw that mankind was beginning to get a little too comfortable in their cozy homes. Then there was a momentous decision made by God, a classic Old Testament 'wrath of God' thing. This wrath was not quite like the wrath depicted in the Old Testament where things eventually cooled down.
Since God had to put up with an irritation, Satan, God figured that mankind should also have a continuing and annoying irritation. The plan was simple and was designed to stand the test of time. God created the housefly; a creature that can survive no matter what new invention man creates to eliminate the pesky housefly, a.k.a. pestilence.
 The housefly has the following feature that makes it a perfect pest. After what looks like a good swat the fly will not be found under the swatter. Also like snakes a housefly can suddenly come out of nowhere, reminding man that the original mistake in the garden of Eden has lead to this minor but very annoying irritation, Gods housefly
* Garden Time.  ** Fall Apart

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